Hoodie Allen - You Are Not a Robot

"You've been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby"

Note to Self

Buy:
-Polaroid Camera
-Nook Color
Books for Nook:
-Bossypants, Tina Fey
-Almost Like Being in Love, Steve Kluger
-Other books I can't think of at the moment.
Pierce:
-Eyebrow
Tattoo:
-Somewhere on forearm, not sure of what.

My materialistic list of items I need to purchase before or during college. If you gotten this far through, I'll explain it now. For the past few months I have been attaching myself to materialistic items because substantial things like love and family have failed me. I know my longing for electronics and piercings are useless, but in a crazy way, possibly only known to myself, it numbs the pain. 

Scratched Vinyl

I can't remember the days when fighting and screaming was taboo. I can't remember the days when we used to be a family. I can't remember what it's like to be happy. The house is so quiet now. If we're lucky, we'll have a fight and the silence will break. This place used to be my sanctuary, a place I can call my own. Now it has been robbed from us like everything else. Was is so wrong to be able to be happy? Just because she had nothing, doesn't mean she had to reduce us to her level. This isn't right. Deliver me from this pain, wash away my sins, bring us back to time before all this. Oh there goes my asinine beliefs again. How can I be so foolish to believe we can reverse these dismal effects? How can you be so foolish to believe our problems are resolvable. 

Petty Burns

When we kissed, the taste of burned ashes mingled in my mouth. I'll never forget that flavor. It's never quite the same when I pick up those cigarettes you used to smoke. When we kissed, it had a nice slow burn taste, with a hint of sharp hope and a dash of sweetness. But when I smoke all I savor is tobacco. Do you remember my first cigarette? I do. You lit the tip and I watched as the fire slowly crept closer and closer to my unsuspecting lips. I was startled and the cigarette flew effortlessly from my mouth to my arm. It barely singed the flesh, but left an uncanny mark. I watched as the panic flooded your face and the pain on my arm set in. You promised me never again. Never again. I still taste the burned ashes in my mouth when I look at my scar, but this time it's mixed with a new flavor. Something along the lines of longing.

Full Moon

Nights like these when the moon is full and at it's peak, shining with a melancholic radiance, I think of you. What's it like over there? Sometimes I forget about you and feel guilty, it isn't right you know? Forgetting about someone. I take great comfort in knowing that we are under the same moon. And when I'm looking up at that big, bright, pure mass of rock floating in the night sky, I can't help but wonder if you're looking too. I suppose this is a great time to tell you I've fallen for this guy down the street, but he's far too old for me. I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy now because I stood in the driveway for about five minutes just staring at the full moon. Oh he saw me alright. He's garage was open and he was walking in and out, so the chances are high that he saw an Asian fool looking up at the moon searching for answers. The moon to you is probably different. It's probably more beautiful, sprinkled with craters and surrounded by glistening stars. Lighting the sidewalk of a quiet city. It's more beautiful, isn't it? Not a touch of sadness. Goodnight guy from down the street. Goodnight moon. And goodnight old friend.

Amy Winehouse - Back to Black

AMY COME BAAACCCKKK!